Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year Resolutions 2009


Many people laugh at or shun the idea of making resolutions, but the list maker and planner in me loves making resolutions. Some I keep. Some not. I looked at my resolutions from last year and have made progress on some, and not on others. That does not stop me from pledging a new list. I am so excited and hopeful this January 1st. I truly have not felt that way in many years. I am happier, more settled, more confident, more loved. I am surrounding myself by the positive rather than struggling with and avoiding facing the negative in my life. In short...life is amazing.

  • No sweets (including soda) for at least a few months.
  • Be physical for 30 min or more at least 5 times a week. (walk dog, go to gym, yoga, etc.)
  • Get to work on time.
  • Be better about keeping track of and spending money.
  • Be more open and honest with everyone.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Volume Two...No Really...Volume Two

As my dad wrote in my Christmas card this year, "What a difference a year makes." This has been the best Christmas of my life. It has been amazing not only for the events that have already happened this holiday season, but for the hope of things to come. So the list for today is 10 things that made this the Christmas of a lifetime.

  1. Getting to see my little brother, and all my family.
  2. Seeing lots of children (who are becoming part of my family) attack, rip open, squeal, and generally freak out over piles of presents.
  3. Having my first real tree in a few years and Jason's first real tree ever.
  4. Getting handmade cards and goofy presents from my students.
  5. Christmas shopping in the toy isle.
  6. Having a boyfriend that understands the exact kind of gifts that mean the most and make me the happiest.
  7. Being mentally and physically well enough to take over for my mom in the kitchen.
  8. Being able to bring my dog home to stay.
  9. Singing and dancing through the season with Jason.
  10. Planning to go shopping and and get my hair done.
The Joy of the holidays has returned!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Warren Haynes Christmas Jam: List 3


This has truly been one of the best weekends of my entire life. I was surrounded by love and live music. I ate delicious food and washed it down with plenty of beer. For so many reasons...it was amazing. This is a list of just a few of the things that made my weekend so great.

  1. I saw in concert, talked to, touched and got an autograph from one of my favorite musicians, Michael Franti. After his set, he casually hopped of the front of the stage and started hugging people in the crowd. Jason said, "Let's go down there!" I actually hesitated but then took off running at lightning speed to try to get down the the floor level where he was interacting with the crowd. I got to the gate, flashed my backstage pass, and got there just as he was turning to head backstage. I grabbed some stranger's sharpie and walked beside Michael as he headed off. Michael Franti then turned to me and said " How are you tonight Sister?" I'm not sure what I replied. Something about how great the show was I think. He signed my backstage pass and headed off. I was the last autograph he signed. I turned to Jason in tears, and just said, "Thank you." Maybe someday I will write the whole story of why this moment was so important in my life, how this brought a strange sense of closure, and how it was Franti's music that gave me the love, and energy, and strength to make it through my divorce. But for now, my joy prevents me from going there. All I can say is wow...and be thankful. So very, very thankful.
  2. Jason and I had "lammies" as I found out they are called in the biz. We had laminated backstage VIP passes which hung on a string around our necks. That meant we never waited in line, we got to sit in a reserved VIP seating area, got to enter and exit through the same place the artists did, and hang the greenroom. We also walked past a block long line to go to a smaller show during the day at Jack of The Wood to see an informal acoustic set with Kevin Kinney of Drivin and Cryin and Patterson Hood of The Drive By Truckers. I felt like a true VIP, and was so proud knowing that it was Jason's hard work that had gotten us there.
  3. Though Michael Franti's set was the highlight of Saturday's show, Friday's show had a huge highlight as well. Joan Osborne, Travis Tritt, and Del McKoury singing 3 part harmony on a bluegrass tune while Jon Paul Jones played mandolin was one of the best things I have ever seen live. For me that's the best and most beautiful part of the jam is that all these musicians just come out in strange and wonderful combinations to play together. Wow!
  4. Being a big Drive By Truckers fan, Patterson Hood's acoustic set while having a drink in a little pub with Jason was really great. It was a big sing along in a little spot that shook my heart.
  5. Seeing a rainbow on the way there, and a shooting star on the way home.
  6. Sharing it all with the greatest love of my life, Jason Bugg.

Warren Haynes Christmas Jam: List 2


After two days of nonstop music my head is still spinning and my ears are still ringing. But my heart and my soul have never been happier. This is the roller coaster ride of music I have been on this cold, clear, perfect December weekend.

  • The Allman Brothers
  • The Del McCoury Band
  • The Derek Trucks Band
  • Government Mule
  • Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk
  • The Lee Boys
  • Joan Osborne
  • John Paul Jones (of Led Zeplin)
  • Travis Tritt
  • Ben Harper and Relentless7
  • Coheed & Cambria
  • Steve Earle
  • Michael Franti & Jay Bowman
  • Johnny Winter
  • Mike Barnes
  • Buddy Cage
  • Roosevelt Collier
  • Karl Denson
  • Robben Ford
  • Ruthie Foster
  • Audley Freed
  • JJ Grey
  • Col. Bruce hampton
  • Ron Holloway
  • Patterson Hood (of The Drive By Truckers)
  • Robert Kearns
  • Kevin Kinney (of Drivin' and Cryin')
  • Eric Krasno
  • Edwin McCain
  • Mickey Raphael
  • many many more...
Wow...

Warren Haynes Christmas Jam: List 1



I understand that for many people getting dressed up, pumped up and fucked up are huge parts of the concert experience. But sometimes, I really wonder about their choices. I was in a perfect (VIP) seat for people watching and was amazed as usual at the variety of clothes people wore. What follows is a list of unusual things saw on people's heads the last two nights.

  • huge fuzzy reindeer antlers
  • two candy canes sticking straight up
  • working electric Xmas lights
  • Santa hats of every shape size and description
  • top hat
  • turban
  • feathers
  • knit hats with ear flaps
  • Xmas balls on springs
  • balloon hats
  • Xmas tree tinsel
  • a crown of stars

Thursday, December 4, 2008


All right new leaf, turn over. That's right . Tuuuurn over! Good leaf! That's a goooood leaf. Now stay. Staaaaayyy!

In a moment of clarity I realized that my blog had some how gone horribly wrong. My original inspiration was that my boyfriend wanted to know my daily thoughts. How sweet, right? Well somewhere along the way it turned into an outlet for my seemingly bottomless well of neediness and self-loathing. "I don't have this. I don't do that. I'm not pretty...blah blah blah." What a bunch of shit. So from here on out (even if for only Jason and me) I plan to take a cue from the only coach in sports I ever really cared about, Jim Volvano. Half full instead of half empty from here on out Baby!

Laugh: I had a lot of laughs today but I think there are two that stand out. Laughing with Donna about organized and sensible outdoor Christmas decorations vs. every plastic Christmas character living in harmony on the lawn and mismatched lights. The other was dancing my ass back and forth as Jason produced a symphony of accompanying fart noises.

Cry (or get emotional): My emotional moments came when I opened an email from Jason containing the lyrics to a wonderful song that makes me feel great every time I hear it (or read it.) The other came when (through a Spanish translator) I was thanked profusely by the mother of a student for the great year her son is having in my class.

Think: Obviously I paused to think about the direction my blog (and my energy) were going. The other thing that I thought a lot about over the past few day is what does it mean for a child to be "gifted?" GT/AG/ AIG what ever label you know it as. I have been going through the process of referring two students in my class for our Horizons Enrichment program (our gifted program.) Filling out checklists, collecting work samples, checking reading levels and standardized test scores. I spent 10 days this summer at a conference for teaching gifted kids. I was put in "gifted" classes when I was in fourth grade. I've been to a million workshops on differentiating instruction.Those experiences in combination with my every day interaction with kids for the last 7 years you think would make me an expert, but it is a question I am still trying to answer.

So, I'd have to say overall it was a good day and I apologize to the universe for the bitchy energy I was putting out most of the day.

Character Witness




The following is a list of UNTRUE things my boyfriend has told various cashiers in our small town about me.
  • I just stole a candy bar.
  • I steal candy from needy children.
  • I have a drinking problem.
  • I have to rush home and do some meth.
  • I hate Asians.
And last but certainly not least...
  • My sister (I have no sister) was in a terrible car accident and had to have her leg amputated and I had been out of town caring for her. (Used in an attempt to avoid a late fee at the video store.)

Feeling Down and Out

I know. I know...Money is not everything, neither are looks, but when it comes to being a girl, they help. I am not a high maintenance girl, but have really been feeling shitty about the way I look lately. I do not require designer clothes, shoes, perfumes, or purses. I do not spend $65 a sitting on nails or hair. I don't wear diamonds or gold. However, I am feeling like a little money to spend on myself would make a world of difference in my confidence right now. Is that shallow? Selfish? I know that the reason I don't have money now is because of debt I have incurred in the past 10 years. That means I have no one to blame but myself for the lack of money for girly resources. Guess I am really lame and feeling sorry for myself. I know there are people a lot poorer, etc. But when you work as long and hard as I do everyday it would be nice to have a little money for myself rather than paying bills and praying like hell to get through the rest of the month on the change that's left. So what follows is a list of ways I would spend this girly cash. Consider it my Christmas list (in no particular order). I hope Santa is online and understands that all I want for Christmas is my confidence back.

  • bras and panties
  • pedicure
  • mid-range facial cleanser and lotion
  • winter clothes that fit
  • Mary Janes that don't smell
  • haircut and color
  • makeup (brown eyeshadow, eyelash curler, powder, smudge-less mascara)
  • renewed gym membership at Curves
  • a trip to the dentist.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Must See Spooky Cinema


ONLY 12 DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN!!!

Halloween is my favorite holiday, and scary movies are one of my favorite parts of the season. I am watching The Ring. Of course edited for TV movies are terrible. It's hard to keep up any kind of suspense when you are being constantly interrupted by ads for birth control and cheeseburgers.

Now let me clarify. When I say "scary movies" I don't mean just gore fest style movies like the ones that Hollywood can't get enough of lately. I mean real suspense, really terrifying situations and characters, an actual plot, and maybe a little blood.

What follows is a list of movies I highly recommend watching for a scary horror filled holiday treat(always watch the original first).

Very scary movies...

  • The Exorcist
  • The Shining
  • Carrie
  • American Werewolf in London
  • Dawn of the Dead

Some Halloween movies have a bit different feel. They are equally wonderful, but can make you laugh while people lose arms and legs...

  • Young Frankenstein
  • Evil Dead
  • Beetlejuice
  • Once Bitten
  • Shaun of the Dead

Of course no Halloween movie list would be complete without a list of serial killer movies. In that genre I recommend...

  • Psycho
  • Halloween
  • Nightmare on Elm Street
  • House of 1000 Corpses/ The Devil's Rejects
  • Helter Skelter

Here are some really old black and white movies that you must see (be sure you are getting the originals!)

  • Freaks
  • 13 Ghosts
  • Night of the Living Dead
  • The Birds
  • Bride of Frankenstein

I could name a million more, but start with these! Be sure to get cracked out on Halloween candy before you watch so you are extra jumpy and enjoy!

Happy Halloween!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Superpets

Just a quick announcement:
I have a new favorite superhero, and a hero is exactly what he is.

"You want to cheer a hero?! This is a hero!"---Superman
Who is this handsome specimen of the canine species?
Krypto...Dog of Steel.
Here are some reason Krypto is awesome...

  • He was a gift from Superman's dad to his son
  • He has Superman's powers
  • He has a red cape
  • He has his own dialogue bubbles
  • He can easily recognize bad guys
  • He plays fetch in space
Check out Superman #680 for a great Krypto story this week!

(And a quick disclaimer. I do not in any way support the cheesy horrible TV cartoon version of Krypto. It sucks. Bad art. Sucky stories. It basically ruins the nobility of the true spirit Krypto.)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Riddled With Insecurities


Every person on the planet, no matter what they say or how they act, has some area of insecurity. Some are rational, some are irrational, but for the most part nothing anyone can say will change these insecurities. I have two friends, one male one female, who I think are two of the most physically beautiful people I have ever known. However, neither one of them thinks they are attractive and constantly worry that they are unattractive to the opposite sex. What can be done to resolve these insecurities? Myself, I am riddled with insecurities. My hair, my weight, my feet, my weight, my skin, my weight, my intelligence, my weight..did I mention my weight?

Since the age of about 23 I have been battling my weight. I had always been a tall skinny girl. I was 5'9'' in 6th grade. I was 115 pounds when I was 21 and wearing a size six. By the time I graduated from college at age 29 I was over 200 pounds, wearing a 22. About 2 years ago I decided to do something serious about my weight. I was motivated! I had willpower! I lost a total of 46 pounds in less than 9 months. I looked great and more importantly, felt great. My sex drive came back, I could wear cute clothes again, I felt beautiful and confident.

Now, having put back on 30 pounds of what I lost initially, I am back to having every shitty insecurity return. I cannot wear my clothes. I cannot stop craving sweets or get off the couch most nights. I also cannot stop being upset about how I feel and look. I have even had dreams about running, feeling my body, my legs moving, feet pounding. Yet I continue on my sluggish destructive path. So here is my to do list...and my not to do list. I hope it will serve as an inspiration to me somehow. I feel stupid and weak even writing this down. Just do it...right?! Goddamnit!!! Why can't I just take care of myself??? Okay, I'm done whining. Done ranting about something I can change but won't, or don't.

Things that make me gain weight:
  • Sneaking sweets all day long (at least a candy bar a day)
  • Sitting on the couch
  • Taking anti-depressants and birth control pills
  • More pasta and bread and less meat

Things that make me lose weight:
  • Not eating ANY sweets
  • Working out at Curves at least 4 days a week
  • Yogurt for breakfast and salad for lunch
  • Running

Monday, October 6, 2008

Intervening

The show agreed to make documentaries about addiction. It is about to face an intervention.

I have gotten hooked in recent months on an A & E show called Intervention. They film the addict living their daily life, then gather them up and toss them in a room with everyone they know plus a bonus intervention specialist type person. The goal being of course to convince to the person to leave then and there for rehab. Reality drama at its best.

But tonight, as working on grading papers, I watched 3 episodes in a row. All three were about alcoholics. Now, I understand that alcohol abuse is a prevalent issue and not to be taken lightly, (even runs in my family) but come on people. I need more than alcohol abuse in prime time.

"Dan drinks a case of beer a day. " That was one of the shocking factoids that popped up during an episode. I know a guy who does that...where's the tragedy there??

So in the spirit of my lovely lists...here are a few other addiction issues I would like to see on Intervention in the future. Interested producers feel free to contact me.

  • self mutilation
  • opium
  • cocaine
  • over eating
  • meth amphetamines
  • sexual addiction
  • huffing magic markers
  • collecting ceramic figurines
  • alcoholic animals

Eleven Events I Have Shared With Jason



1. Baseball season
2. His 31st birthday party
3. Presidents of the United States
4. Nick Lowe
5. She and Him
6. The Hold Steady
7. Ric Flair's last match
8. Jim proposing to Pam
9. Frank's adoption
10. Fourth of July fireworks
11. Becoming roommates

Happy eleven...here's to twelve!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ten Things You Should Know About the Best Dog Ever



  • He loves to swim. He will swim for miles. Behind boats, through rapids, across lakes...miles.
  • He is the perfect size to spoon with, even though he does snore.
  • He loves cats. He raised my cat, Moe, from the time he was a kitten.
  • He needs a blaze orange collar so he can still be seen at night.
  • He prefers Healthy Morsels dogfood made by Purina.
  • He needs to run in wide open spaces.
  • He hates ferrets.
  • He gets way too excited when he plays with other dogs.
  • He likes to prune trees with his teeth.
  • He doesn't bark at strange men, but he does bark at strange dogs.
I lost my dog in my divorce. I had a brush with an old acquaintance tonight that left me thinking about him. I don't want a new dog. I want my dog. For all the horrible things my ex-husband has done to me, taking my dog is the worst.

Monday, September 29, 2008

An Actual Conversation

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

During writing journals in my class I often give the students a prompt to get thinking started. Today I gave the question "If you were an animal what would you be and why?" After the allotted writing time was up I asked several students to share their answers. I got the typical assortment of "I wanna be a cat so I can sleep all day," and "I wanna be a dog so I can bite people," etc... But the best happened just this way:

Me: So Mark, what animal would you want to be?

Mark: I want to be a gorilla.

Me: A gorilla! That's awesome! Why a gorilla?

Mark: So nobody will judge me when I scratch my butt.

Me: (LOUD LAUGHTER)

Out of the mouths of babes..I love my job.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

My Anti- Anniversary


Today is September 25th, 2008. That means I have been divorced exactly one year.


The day I got legally divorced was one of the worst days of my life. I waited patiently most of the day in a freezing courtroom until they called me to the stand. I cried as I read from the divorce paperwork detailing and justifying our separation. He was not there. No one was there. Just me. Afterwords I cried in my car, hard and long. Then I drove immediately to my favorite corner bar and told the bartender all my troubles as he served me martini after martini. Finally a good friend came and paid my tab and drove me home.


Divorcing my husband was the hardest decision I have ever made. Deciding to marry him was easy because I had wanted to be married to him for so many years before we actually decided on it. But I guess I knew it was wrong from the start. He never proposed, just agreed. We had a history of problems through out our relationship. We were very codependent and each enabled the others habits. I hoped being married would change or fix our relationship. I was very wrong.


But for the record, I did love him. For all his faults, and all his bad habits, for many years I loved that man. Even now, thinking about him makes me so sad. For a million reasons it should make me pissed off, angry, irrational, and filled with pure hate. But I just feel a deep and dark sorrow hanging on a hanger at the back of my brain's closet.

I have more to say, but am not sure how. I am having a hard time finding a way to end it...



Why I love The Office


  • Pam
  • Jim
  • Pam and Jim
  • Dwight and Angela
  • Party Planning Committee
  • Finer Things Club
  • Beet farming
  • Alcoholics and gays at work
  • Sing alongs
  • Walking on coals
  • Daryl's lessons to Michael about being black
  • Posters of kittens and babies dressed as adults
  • A proposal in the rain
  • Office supplies encased in jello

Monday, September 22, 2008

Fun Fun Fun


To keep with the spirit of my blog, and to go with the post below I now present to you a list of some of my favorite childhood toys.

1. record player: I played any records I could get a hold of. The first one I wore out was the BeeGee's version of Sgt. Pepper's when I was 7.

2. Lite Brite: Nothing like some black paper and a light bulb to keep me going for hours.

3. Barbie: Though I was horribly jealous of my best friend who had every Barbie everything that had ever been made. I was the most jealous that she had Barbie's little white kitten with the pink collar. It had Velcro paws and came with it's own little scratching post. She didn't even like cats!  She and I spent hours with Barbie though!

4. Freddy: My stuffed penguin

5. dress-up clothes: I still really enjoy wearing costumes whenever possible

6. Operation: I love that noise! Eeennnnhh!

7. Speak and Spell: I just found out that TI still makes a version of this based on the original. Can I have one for Christmas?

8. bubbles

9. Ouija Board: A Satanic staple at any slumber party

10. trees

Simple Pleasures

Today it has been decided in my mind…trampolines are absolutely magic.

My best friend who lived two houses down was the first person in the neighborhood to have a trampoline. It instantly became the center of our suburban teenage world. It served as a hang-out spot, a spot for telling secrets, and a place where it was safe to bring your sleeping bag and escape to any time of night. We jumped in the summer, the winter, in our prom dresses, drunk, sober… but always happy and laughing and feeling the magic. The neighborhood gang still talks about the trampoline though we are all over 30 now.

I remember in college tripping my ass off and watching a friend jump on a trampoline. I swore that the wet green grass swaying to the rhythm of the jump and lit by the street light was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Ok, I was tripping. But it was still magic damnit.

The first year I taught elementary school I remember the day I walked my kids to PE and saw before me the trampoline in the center of the room. One of the coaches spotted me gazing longingly and asked in a soft voice, "Do you want to jump?" "No no no…I have to get back to …(insert some excuse)" "You sure? It's really OK" "Well just for a minute" "YEEEEAAAAHHHH" my class yelled! I loved it, they loved it and now it is understood that Ms. Metz is always invited when the trampoline is in the gym, and that Ms. Metz always mans the trampoline station during field day as well. Again…feeling the magic.

Today I had a trampoline moment that solidified all my beliefs about this nylon and steel circle of joy. Walking into the yard at Jason's family's home I was once again entranced by the sight of a trampoline. I couldn't help myself. I had to jump. I did ask, but as I was asking, I already had one leg thrown over the edge. Jason soon jumped up also, though with a somewhat reluctant look on his face. We jumped and laughed and lay staring through the leaves up at the blue summer sky. That was absolutely the most peaceful and happy I have been in so very long. Magic.

Now go forth and jump.

(An addendum) Not long after I wrote this Jason and I were at his parent's house having a cookout. His grandfather, sister, niece, and I were sitting beside the trampoline while Jason practiced his wrestling moves with his two nephews. During the conversation Grandpa admitted that he had come out by himself and jumped on the trampoline that week. He hurt his back, lay there for about 30 minutes, and told everyone a lie about just pulling his back around the house. But grandpa jumped! I love him for that!

Top 10 Reasons to Drive to Western NY and Back

10. Truck drivers who hold the door for you at every gas station even when you look like shit.

9. Banjo on the radio in West Virginia.

8. Finding out all your long lost Polish relatives like to drink beer and dance as much as you do. (Even had souvenir beer cozies at Grandma's 90th birthday party!)

7. Gas is cheaper in every state between here and there.

6. Crossing water, water, water. (New, Gauley, and Nolichucky rivers; Lake Erie, and Lake Chataqua)

5. Enjoying the flashbacks brought on by the orange florescent in the tunnels through VA and WV.

4. Admiring my cousin's toe ring as she slept with her foot out the window.

3. Coming through the oldest mountain range in the world...and knowing it's your home.

2. Round trip 19 hours with the windows down and the radio way too loud.

1. "Taking life like a big 'ol ri-de..." ---America

Sense of Sense

(originally written June 1, 2008)

Sense Memory. The first lesson I learned in acting class. "Remember a time you felt..." The first lesson I teach my students in narrative writing. Carefully constructing connections from senses to memories.

Society (and here I include myself) puts so much emphasis on the sense of sight, the others are often neglected. The other four senses must be included to round out the picture. Those memories that I have that are strongest are much more related to smell, taste, touch...and sound.

The smell of spearmint gum will forever make me think of my grandfather. He quit smoking when I was born but was always chewing gum. The smell of wet wool brings back vivid memories of my now ex-husband returning from a cold weather canoe trip. Sense memory.

The taste of watermelon transports me to summer in the grass of NY state, surrounded by cousins at grandma's house. And I remember the rave beat of Hairspray in the early 90's when I taste a gin and tonic. Sense memory.

Knowing without opening my eyes which cat is beneath my hand, or thinking of a the future with Jason's hand on my belly, these things are about touch. Sense memory.

But last night it was about sound. It wasn't a song or a laugh. It was a thump. I was hanging out with friends, and their dogs. One of the dogs laid on his side and put his head in my lap, and as I do, I petted his stomach ending with an open hand pat. "thump thump thump" With only that sound in my ear, I suddenly felt as if I couldn't breathe. I haven't seen, smelled, touched, or heard my dog since February 15th. And with that thump all the missing him hit me at once. I lost it. I had to leave. I had to take care of myself. I miss my dog everyday, but last night was worse. Sense memory.

Not Your Ordinary Beauty

I bought the most depressing thing ever yesterday. Have been upset and stressed out which always takes its toll on my skin. So I went to the skin care isle of my local drugstore and came home with one product that treats both acne and wrinkles. Arrrrrrghhhhhh! I truly thought there would be this blessed time in the life of my skin when I could be free of worry. But alas, it is not to be. And so I head to the bathroom to wash my face and enjoy knowing that while the acne comes from stress...the wrinkles come from smiling. So in the spirit of enjoying your age here are 5 good things and 5 bad things about heading towards 40.

The Good...
  • Still getting carded
  • I laugh and shake my head at "youngsters"
  • Getting closer to paying off my student loans
  • Being at my sexual peak
  • Not trying to be cool
The Bad...
  • Everything about my skin is changing
  • Starting to get hammer toes just like my mom
  • Not being 115pounds ever again
  • Bills bills bills
  • It hurts so much more to party now
Enjoy the ride ladies and gentlemen!

The Note

Part of my classroom management duty as a teacher is to collect miscellaneous distractions from my students during lessons. Often those distractions are created from sheets of notebook paper I thoughtfully provide as an attempt to save time in the classroom. These distractions take many shapes, tiny triangular footballs, Freddy fingers, airplanes, fortune-tellers, and the classic..."The Note."

How many times were you terrified when the teacher took that note from your hand, or picked it up after a failed toss, petrified she might read it, or worse, read it out loud. I have a strict policy. I never read notes out loud. Most of the time I put it in my pocket and forget about it until I am peeling the soggy remnants from my washing machine. I do however occasionally reach into my pocket and find a treasure. This week I had that experience. Here is what was written on the small pink piece of paper I remembered was in my pocket at 3:00 today. Two girls with a lot of wisdom...

L: When Kobe fell he got up and looked at me! And when he did other things he got up and looked at me!!!!

D: Aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww Young love, isn't it magical, lovely, and beautiful

L: yes it is all those things

D: OK GROSS but magical

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Mary"s Mixes and Martinis

Tonight is a celebration of Jason being alive for 31 years. The plan...friends, food, and LOTS of alcohol. So the list for today ...

Mary's Top Six Favorite Alcoholic Beverages

  1. Margarita (on the rocks)
  2. Sangria
  3. Vanilla vodka and gingerale
  4. Blonde headed slut (not red headed)
  5. Ice cold IPA
  6. Apple Martini
Glad to share recipes. Enjoy and may you also have a drunken night of fun and love sometime soon!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

An Actual Conversation

student: We love you Mrs. M for teaching us so much!

me: Thanks! I love you guys too! What's one thing you liked learning this year so far?

student: I don't know. I forgot.

Boy Stuff I Don't Understand

Ok, so It's true that this list could truly be infinite, but these are the latest 10 things that have gotten me wondering...

  1. Why are guys so vain about their hair?
  2. Why do they only think it's been a good night of drinking if it ends in vomiting, peeing on something inappropriate, or fist-a-cuffs?
  3. How can they watch tv, read, listen to music, and surf the net all at the same time?
  4. Excessive meat consumption.
  5. Guns.
  6. Army Navy Surplus.
  7. On line gaming.
  8. Picking on you means they care.
  9. Why do they love to watch talking heads arguing on tv about sports, politics, or anything really?
  10. Action figures.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Things I Say Most Days at Work


(It's all about context.)

"Hold those balls in the hallway!"

"Do you want to do lines? You know how to do lines. You've been doing lines for 5 years."

"There are too many buts. You can't start with but."

"Go get the sacred pot."

"Sit!"

"Are you done yet?"

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I Am An Experiential Learner


Things we truly loved as children often have a way of becoming more sacred as we get further from those early years. Since my boyfriend, Jason, and I started dating he has been trying to explain this and have me respect it. Specifically when it comes to his long time loves...super-heroes and wrestling. Comics and TV wrestling were big parts of his childhood and things he never left behind. Through teen angst. Through his 20's drunks, drugs, and divorce. Even now, entering his 30's, new comic book day and Monday night wrestling are weekly highlights.

Being the person I am, sweet and sassy, I will often make sexy little comments about things he is watching or reading or sharing with me. However, I quickly learned that these comments were not well received when directed at Superman or John Morrison. He would always say "Don't sexualize (insert character name)!" My usual response would be to giggle and say "Whatever." But it never stopped me from doing it again, and he never stopped chastising me for it. I just thought he was being silly and overly sensitive. This weekend I had an experience that forever changed my attitude towards his reaction.

Being a child in the 70's and 80's one of my cherished childhood loves was Muppets. I grew up with Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, and The Dark Crystal. Still, 25+years later, I remember many of the skits and songs as if I just turned off the tiny TV with the giant rabbit ears. I won't go into the graphic details of the entire experience, but while fooling around on youtube this boring Saturday afternoon, my boyfriend showed me a video of Kermit. In the video had Kermit the Frog, during a moment of reaction says the word "fuck." I immediately became enraged at the person who had created this abomination! I made Jason stop the video that second. What monster could do this to my beloved childhood icon?! "Jim Henson would never have allowed this!" I screamed.

And then, in the midst of my fit it all became clear. This is what Jason had been trying to say. Kermit was my Superman, my untouchable. So to Jason I say, I know now and apologize for those comments. And to others I say do not underestimate the power of your childhood heart to let loose untold emotions. Now go forth and enjoy something you have neglected far too long...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Mush

My life and thought often seem more chaotic than clear. In one of my many attempts to gain control where I feel I can, I have a real fetish for making lists. And I don't just mean grocery lists or "honey do" lists. the most common form my thoughts take are lists. I don't know what that's about exactly but here is the list of the day.

I love my boyfriend because...

...he hates the ellipse.
  • he always has one shoe untied.
  • he loves me and is never afraid how or where or how often he says it.
  • he makes me feel beautiful even when I have just woken up.
  • he is a snob about lots of things and an asshole about the rest.
  • he makes wildly inappropriate jokes that make me laugh and grimace all at once.
  • he swaps jokes and stories with my dad.
  • he is ok with having too many cats.
  • he watches me watching other things and is often entertained by my reactions.
  • he understands about the little things.
  • he still wears superhero jammies.
  • he likes the presents I pick for him.
  • he lectured me about hot dog brands.
  • he plays the ukulele.
  • he introduces me to his friends.
  • he wants to be close to me even in public.
  • he looks to the future and not the past.
  • he always feels like a deep breath and a smile.

He's mine ladies. (Yes that means you too Tift!)

5 Reasons I Started This Blog

  1. Jason suggested it.
  2. I was bored on a Saturday afternoon.
  3. I love having an outlet for the chattering monkey of my mind.
  4. Making lists is the best way I know to deal with my tendencies toward insanity.
  5. The internet needs one more person putting their random pondering out there.