New Year Resolutions 2009

Many people laugh at or shun the idea of making resolutions, but the list maker and planner in me loves making resolutions. Some I keep. Some not. I looked at my resolutions from last year and have made progress on some, and not on others. That does not stop me from pledging a new list. I am so excited and hopeful this January 1st. I truly have not felt that way in many years. I am happier, more settled, more confident, more loved. I am surrounding myself by the positive rather than struggling with and avoiding facing the negative in my life. In short...life is amazing.

• No sweets (including soda) for at least a few months.
• Be physical for 30 min or more at least 5 times a week. (walk dog, go to gym, yoga, etc.)
• Get to work on time.
• Be better about keeping track of and spending money.
• Be more open and honest with everyone.
  

Volume Two...No Really...Volume Two

As my dad wrote in my Christmas card this year, "What a difference a year makes." This has been the best Christmas of my life. It has been amazing not only for the events that have already happened this holiday season, but for the hope of things to come. So the list for today is 10 things that made this the Christmas of a lifetime.

1. Getting to see my little brother, and all my family.
2. Seeing lots of children (who are becoming part of my family) attack, rip open, squeal, and generally freak out over piles of presents.
3. Having my first real tree in a few years and Jason's first real tree ever.
4. Getting handmade cards and goofy presents from my students.
5. Christmas shopping in the toy isle.
6. Having a boyfriend that understands the exact kind of gifts that mean the most and make me the happiest.
7. Being mentally and physically well enough to take over for my mom in the kitchen.
8. Being able to bring my dog home to stay.
9. Singing and dancing through the season with Jason.
10. Planning to go shopping and and get my hair done.

The Joy of the holidays has returned!

Warren Haynes Christmas Jam: List 3

This has truly been one of the best weekends of my entire life. I was surrounded by love and live music. I ate delicious food and washed it down with plenty of beer. For so many reasons...it was amazing. This is a list of just a few of the things that made my weekend so great.

1. I saw in concert, talked to, touched and got an autograph from one of my favorite musicians, Michael Franti. After his set, he casually hopped of the front of the stage and started hugging people in the crowd. Jason said, "Let's go down there!" I actually hesitated but then took off running at lightning speed to try to get down the the floor level where he was interacting with the crowd. I got to the gate, flashed my backstage pass, and got there just as he was turning to head backstage. I grabbed some stranger's sharpie and walked beside Michael as he headed off. Michael Franti then turned to me and said " How are you tonight Sister?" I'm not sure what I replied. Something about how great the show was I think. He signed my backstage pass and headed off. I was the last autograph he signed. I turned to Jason in tears, and just said, "Thank you." Maybe someday I will write the whole story of why this moment was so important in my life, how this brought a strange sense of closure, and how it was Franti's music that gave me the love, and energy, and strength to make it through my divorce. But for now, my joy prevents me from going there. All I can say is wow...and be thankful. So very, very thankful.
2. Jason and I had "lammies" as I found out they are called in the biz. We had laminated backstage VIP passes which hung on a string around our necks. That meant we never waited in line, we got to sit in a reserved VIP seating area, got to enter and exit through the same place the artists did, and hang the greenroom. We also walked past a block long line to go to a smaller show during the day at Jack of The Wood to see an informal acoustic set with Kevin Kinney of Drivin and Cryin and Patterson Hood of The Drive By Truckers. I felt like a true VIP, and was so proud knowing that it was Jason's hard work that had gotten us there.
   
3. Though Michael Franti's set was the highlight of Saturday's show, Friday's show had a huge highlight as well. Joan Osborne, Travis Tritt, and Del McKoury singing 3 part harmony on a bluegrass tune while Jon Paul Jones played mandolin was one of the best things I have ever seen live. For me that's the best and most beautiful part of the jam is that all these musicians just come out in strange and wonderful combinations to play together. Wow!
4. Being a big Drive By Truckers fan, Patterson Hood's acoustic set while having a drink in a little pub with Jason was really great. It was a big sing along in a little spot that shook my heart.
5. Seeing a rainbow on the way there, and a shooting star on the way home.
6. Sharing it all with the greatest love of my life, Jason Bugg.
   

Warren Haynes Christmas Jam: List 2

After two days of nonstop music my head is still spinning and my ears are still ringing. But my heart and my soul have never been happier. This is the roller coaster ride of music I have been on this cold, clear, perfect December weekend.

• The Allman Brothers
• The Del McCoury Band
• The Derek Trucks Band
• Government Mule
• Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk
• The Lee Boys
  
• Joan Osborne
• John Paul Jones (of Led Zeplin)
  
• Travis Tritt
• Ben Harper and Relentless7
• Coheed & Cambria
• Steve Earle
• Michael Franti & Jay Bowman
• Johnny Winter
• Mike Barnes
• Buddy Cage
• Roosevelt Collier
  
• Karl Denson
• Robben Ford
• Ruthie Foster
• Audley Freed
  
• JJ Grey
• Col. Bruce hampton
• Ron Holloway
• Patterson Hood (of The Drive By Truckers)
  
• Robert Kearns
• Kevin Kinney (of Drivin' and Cryin')
  
• Eric Krasno
• Edwin McCain
• Mickey Raphael
• many many more...

Wow...

Warren Haynes Christmas Jam: List 1

I understand that for many people getting dressed up, pumped up and fucked up are huge parts of the concert experience. But sometimes, I really wonder about their choices. I was in a perfect (VIP) seat for people watching and was amazed as usual at the variety of clothes people wore. What follows is a list of unusual things saw on people's heads the last two nights.

• huge fuzzy reindeer antlers
• two candy canes sticking straight up
• working electric Xmas lights
• Santa hats of every shape size and description
• top hat
• turban
• feathers
• knit hats with ear flaps
• Xmas balls on springs
• balloon hats
• Xmas tree tinsel
• a crown of stars

All right new leaf, turn over. That's right . Tuuuurn over! Good leaf! That's a goooood leaf. Now stay. Staaaaayyy!

In a moment of clarity I realized that my blog had some how gone horribly wrong. My original inspiration was that my boyfriend wanted to know my daily thoughts. How sweet, right? Well somewhere along the way it turned into an outlet for my seemingly bottomless well of neediness and self-loathing. "I don't have this. I don't do that. I'm not pretty...blah blah blah." What a bunch of shit. So from here on out (even if for only Jason and me) I plan to take a cue from the only coach in sports I ever really cared about, Jim Volvano. Half full instead of half empty from here on out Baby!

Laugh: I had a lot of laughs today but I think there are two that stand out. Laughing with Donna about organized and sensible outdoor Christmas decorations vs. every plastic Christmas character living in harmony on the lawn and mismatched lights. The other was dancing my ass back and forth as Jason produced a symphony of accompanying fart noises.

Cry (or get emotional): My emotional moments came when I opened an email from Jason containing the lyrics to a wonderful song that makes me feel great every time I hear it (or read it.) The other came when (through a Spanish translator) I was thanked profusely by the mother of a student for the great year her son is having in my class.

Think: Obviously I paused to think about the direction my blog (and my energy) were going. The other thing that I thought a lot about over the past few day is what does it mean for a child to be "gifted?" GT/AG/ AIG what ever label you know it as. I have been going through the process of referring two students in my class for our Horizons Enrichment program (our gifted program.) Filling out checklists, collecting work samples, checking reading levels and standardized test scores. I spent 10 days this summer at a conference for teaching gifted kids. I was put in "gifted" classes when I was in fourth grade. I've been to a million workshops on differentiating instruction.Those experiences in combination with my every day interaction with kids for the last 7 years you think would make me an expert, but it is a question I am still trying to answer.

So, I'd have to say overall it was a good day and I apologize to the universe for the bitchy energy I was putting out most of the day.

Character Witness

The following is a list of UNTRUE things my boyfriend has told various cashiers in our small town about me.

• I just stole a candy bar.
• I steal candy from needy children.
• I have a drinking problem.
• I have to rush home and do some meth.
• I hate Asians.

And last but certainly not least...

• My sister (I have no sister) was in a terrible car accident and had to have her leg amputated and I had been out of town caring for her. (Used in an attempt to avoid a late fee at the video store.)
  

Feeling Down and Out

I know. I know...Money is not everything, neither are looks, but when it comes to being a girl, they help. I am not a high maintenance girl, but have really been feeling shitty about the way I look lately. I do not require designer clothes, shoes, perfumes, or purses. I do not spend $65 a sitting on nails or hair. I don't wear diamonds or gold. However, I am feeling like a little money to spend on myself would make a world of difference in my confidence right now. Is that shallow? Selfish? I know that the reason I don't have money now is because of debt I have incurred in the past 10 years. That means I have no one to blame but myself for the lack of money for girly resources. Guess I am really lame and feeling sorry for myself. I know there are people a lot poorer, etc. But when you work as long and hard as I do everyday it would be nice to have a little money for myself rather than paying bills and praying like hell to get through the rest of the month on the change that's left. So what follows is a list of ways I would spend this girly cash. Consider it my Christmas list (in no particular order). I hope Santa is online and understands that all I want for Christmas is my confidence back.

• bras and panties
• pedicure
• mid-range facial cleanser and lotion
• winter clothes that fit
• Mary Janes that don't smell
• haircut and color
• makeup (brown eyeshadow, eyelash curler, powder, smudge-less mascara)
• renewed gym membership at Curves
• a trip to the dentist.