Sense of Sense

(originally written June 1, 2008)

Sense Memory. The first lesson I learned in acting class. "Remember a time you felt..." The first lesson I teach my students in narrative writing. Carefully constructing connections from senses to memories.

Society (and here I include myself) puts so much emphasis on the sense of sight, the others are often neglected. The other four senses must be included to round out the picture. Those memories that I have that are strongest are much more related to smell, taste, touch...and sound.

The smell of spearmint gum will forever make me think of my grandfather. He quit smoking when I was born but was always chewing gum. The smell of wet wool brings back vivid memories of my now ex-husband returning from a cold weather canoe trip. Sense memory.

The taste of watermelon transports me to summer in the grass of NY state, surrounded by cousins at grandma's house. And I remember the rave beat of Hairspray in the early 90's when I taste a gin and tonic. Sense memory.

Knowing without opening my eyes which cat is beneath my hand, or thinking of a the future with Jason's hand on my belly, these things are about touch. Sense memory.

But last night it was about sound. It wasn't a song or a laugh. It was a thump. I was hanging out with friends, and their dogs. One of the dogs laid on his side and put his head in my lap, and as I do, I petted his stomach ending with an open hand pat. "thump thump thump" With only that sound in my ear, I suddenly felt as if I couldn't breathe. I haven't seen, smelled, touched, or heard my dog since February 15th. And with that thump all the missing him hit me at once. I lost it. I had to leave. I had to take care of myself. I miss my dog everyday, but last night was worse. Sense memory.